My patients who connected with their anger safely were the ones that made the strongest and safest recoveries. Those unable to connect with their anger had more difficult journeys. This is clear in the case histories discussed in Engaging Multiple Personalities Volume 1.
Despair arises because it seems that there is no way out of that depression and fatigue. But there is: It is to work with the anger. Angry alters can often be converted to protectors in DID therapy because they usually arose originally in a protective function. It is getting back to that basic protective energy so therapists take note: We don’t get rid of the angry alter. He/she can be a highly valuable co-therapist or protector in the healing of a DID client.
It is very common for survivors of trauma and dissociation to feel tired, depressed and hopeless. Energy has been and continues to be drained away dealing with the pain of the past. Colin Ross clearly explained, in the chapter “The Healing Power of Feeling: Anger and Grief” in his book Trauma Model Therapy, that “Anger and depression are psycho-physiologically incompatible states.” The polar opposite of depression is “anger, (which) is energy, arousal, adrenalin, good posture, aggression, and the fight response.” He continues, “Assisting clients to step into their anger leads to stepping out of depression. That is partly because of the state switches to an energized, activated state, and partly because it takes considerable energy to repress all that anger.”
It is much preferable that you have a therapist who assists you to step into that anger. If you are doing it by yourself, through journaling or otherwise, be extremely careful and following these guidelines:
[1] Go into it slowly. Instead of trying to do it all in one sitting, be prepared to do it over weeks or over as long a time as is needed to do it safely!
[2] Take baby-steps. The first step is to learn to how to stop, and to be able to go for a walk to ensure that you are establishing safety and control of the anger. It is like when I first learned how to drive a car – I made sure I knew how to step on the brake correctly to stop the (slowly) moving car first before I went driving around on the real roads. Control is the key.
[3] Be kind to yourself – to every part of your dissociative self. The usual mistake is going too fast. Old anger, when it is first released, tends to go overboard. The risk of getting in touch of your anger is that it may become destructive, such as getting physical and breaking furniture. So, I do not recommend doing this alone without the strong support of a significant other or supervision by a therapist.
Every survivor of abuse has the right to be angry. They were abused – often by people that should have protected them but instead betrayed the relationship in the most vile ways imaginable. Get in touch with that anger SLOWLY AND IN A CONTROLLED SAFE MANNER. It will generally lead you out of depression and fatigue.
