This is in response to several postings on Facebook about potentially dangerous alters. These are angry alters that may harm the body or harm others. This touches on some very basic and frequently misunderstood issues pertaining to DID therapy.
The original function of the angry alter is protection. It is an ingenious defense mechanism for an abused child to establish a self-protective function when they are faced with repetitive abuse that often extends over years. Without that protective function, it is unlikely that a child could survive such impossibly difficult situations. It has the aspect of asserting power, that the child is not solely a victim. There is at least one part that is still fighting the abuser.
The angry alter is not the enemy. These alters arise from a deep survival instinct, filled with power and energy. Without these alters, the trauma would likely overwhelm the child – or, later in life, overwhelm the DID system. These alters keep the system alive within the context of and following the trauma. Without connecting to that energy, the prognosis in therapy is not good. The likelihood of the system simply giving up increases tremendously. In my practice, I had patients who were unable to access the energy of those alters and therapy was, fundamentally, a failure. The key point is to work with the energy, with the alter, rather than seeking to eliminate it. Far from being the enemy, these alters are potential partners in healing the system.
As a result of the hypervigilance that results from ongoing trauma, the anger that arises as that alter is often directed towards other alters or the host. This is despite the fact that the dissociation and resultant alters arose because there was no other way to survive the abuse. They usually blame the host or other alters for “allowing” the abuse to take place. This mistake in perception by the angry alter can lead to debilitating internal conflict. That same anger can also be turned on anyone outside that the angry alter might see, presume or experience as threatening – including the therapist.
The therapist must be sensitive to the presence of the angry alter(s). An alter’s subtle but definite show of power in a threatening manner is often discernible to the alert therapist – just as it would be in treating any non-DID patient.
Early in therapy, as soon as I had confidence that DID was the correct diagnosis for a patient, and regardless of whether or not I communicated the diagnosis to the patient at that time, I stated aloud that in order to proceed with therapy I needed the patient to understand and agree that they could not seek to frighten or threaten me. Without that agreement, one cannot proceed with therapy. This is because a proper therapeutic alliance cannot be established if the therapist has concerns about their own safety.
I would inform the DID system that if I felt unsafe, I simply could not be an effective therapist. I would make that statement while concurrently expressing appreciation for the protective function the alter was fulfilling. This is an honest approach that was much appreciated by my DID clients – particularly when that message was coupled with the message that you appreciated – and all the other alters should appreciate – that the function of the angry alter was to enable the system to survive at the time of the original trauma(s).
Following that, whenever I sensed that an angry alter was around, I would seek to engage that alter directly. This is a priority. Genuinely, always genuinely, I would thank the alter for having protected the system in the past. I let the alter know that it is good that they are keeping an eye on me, the therapist. Acknowledging this – because it is true – is telling the alter that it is no longer necessary to try to instill fear in me as a protective shield. This was because their function, along with the DID system in general, was now safely in the open. The system and all the alters within it were within in the container of compassionate therapy. That was further assuring the alter that between the two of us, therapy could be conducted in a safe and secure manner.
I would invite the angry alters out if they were willing to engage me, but I would never provoke them to come out. I would point out that they needed to remain vigilant to continue protect the system – definitely encouraging them to keep their watchful eye on me – but that being hypervigilant was not so helpful. Being watchful without being hypervigilant was the healthy quality of their protectiveness. It was something to be maintained and applied to the other alters as well as to people they might encounter in their daily life. In this way, they were invited to reclaim their original role as a guardian.
Generally speaking, prior to DID therapy, alters have not been recognized, acknowledged or appreciated. When directly engaged in communication, they have the capacity to change. Like any patient, they appreciate the experience of being treated with kindness and dignity. In most cases, over time, they understand and change their protective view from one of hypervigilance to appropriate vigilance.
Unfortunately, many therapists take the opposite approach. There is a general reluctance to engage alters for various reasons, especially angry alters, including fear and the consequent denial of alters. It is the therapists fear that cuts off communication and solidifies the mistaken view that the angry alter is the enemy. They are potentially potent collaborators in healing. On looking back on my decades of experience treating DID, I still find cases where I wish I had taken a more direct approach to engaging the alters, particularly the angry ones, in therapy.
Alters behave like other patients in therapy. They get relief when encouraged to express themselves and feel reassured when they are understood. Once the hypervigilance is transformed into vigilance, they respond to reason and very often make appropriate changes.
DID patients can heal, even after years of neglect and/or abuse. I hope that DID individuals read this so as to gain confidence in the importance of making friends with all their parts. I also deeply wish that therapists consider these points so that they may overcome their reluctance to engage and learn from alters.
I have written Engaging Multiple Personalities Volumes 1 and 2, and continue to write this blog, in retirement. It is my opportunity to reflect back, to acknowledge my past mistakes in my practice, and to offer my painfully learned experience to others so that DID individuals and their therapists can further and quicken the healing process.
