It is clear that some worries are helpful while others are not. Let’s call the first group “constructive” and the second “destructive.” When worrying is helpful, justified in the circumstances, it is constructive. When worrying is not helpful, not justified in the circumstances, it is destructive.

We often cannot separate one from the other. But, we need to distinguish them for our own well-being. So, it is important to learn how to determine whether or not our worry is constructive.

When a patient came to see me about his paralyzing anxiety, I applied the paradoxical intention concept as used in logotherapy, developed by Victor Frankl. I asked him to sit still for a few minutes before telling me all the things that were bothering him. I asked him to prepare himself by organizing his thoughts and reviewing what was bothering him. In other words, I was asking him to allow his worrying to come out without contesting it.

As a result of my request, he gave himself permission to worry. First, appearing somewhat subdued and dull, he sit down. Then, he focused on the issues of concern without the internal turmoil of worrying about the fact that he was worrying. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes and said that what he was worrying about turned out to be of no real significance. To my surprise, he did not even think he needed to tell me about it further! His body language clearly indicated that his mind was lighter, unburdened by the anxiety. Simply allowing his worry to come out in a safe environment had empowered him to solve his difficulty with no other assistance.

Mind you, there were important factors at work in the interaction. Remember, the therapist’s communication in non-verbal language can carry as much weight, if not more, than the spoken word. So, my body language and verbal communication were in accord with each other – entirely respectful, rather than being dismissive of his concern. It was clear that I took his complaint seriously.

My interpretation of this event was that when he was encouraged to go ahead and explore his concerns in a safe and nurturing environment, he was free from the paralysis of being unable to determine whether he should or should not worry. Without that internal tug of war, without that self-criticism, he was able to focus on and process his concerns without getting in his own way.

Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s chief medical correspondent (and a board certified neurosurgeon) documented the meditation instruction he received on worrying from the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama taught him to meditate by focusing on his worry while imagining it isolated in a bubble. He did that for a few months and vouched for it having changed his life in a significant way. This simple and effective instruction may be another practical way to work with worrying about life’s challenges.

http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/15/health/sanjay-gupta-dalai-lama-meditation/?ref=yfp