There remains much misunderstanding regarding the phenomenon of alters. Many people are simply not able to get past the dramatic aspect of an alters suddenly appearing. This is based on a lack of understanding coupled with a lack of empathy. They somehow cannot see the pain and suffering of what DID individuals faced in the past as well as what they face in the present. They are stuck on the suspicion that the DID patients are fakes, perhaps trying to use the alters as an excuse to get out of their responsibilities.
Many psychiatrists cannot get over the dramatic and theatrical aspect of child alters switching out of a mature woman. I had one University staff psychiatrist openly call my patient a “fake” when he found the diagnosis on that patient’s chart from a previous admission. Under such hostile circumstances , I decided that in-patient treatment was not an option for my DID patients.
While there may be benefit to the many You Tube videos of DID individuals and their alters, I think having repeated videos on YouTube, or making movies of actual switching will only emphasize the dramatic aspect. It may have benefit for those with DID by forcing at least some people to acknowledge the truth of the disorder, it doesn’t highlight the critical point that DID arises because a young child has no other way to defend their mind under the pressure of horrific ongoing abuse.
Curiously, questions have come up regarding the phenomenon of showing favouritism regarding alters.While there is no doubt alters are very different, we naturally find some alters are more attractive or comfortable to be with than others. For example, a therapist may “prefer” talking to one alter who is engaging & charming rather than an enraged alter certain that the therapist is yet another potential assailant. Beware of favoring some alters over others!
There a reason to speak with such angry alters. It is because they are the one who need therapy most. Another horrible but true fact. In talking with such an angry protective alter, you can acknowledge that their fear is not unfounded. With that acknowledgement you can begin to foster a therapeutic alliance with that alter – allowing them in time to dial down their heightened vigilance to ordinary vigilance. This will benefit the engaging and charming alters, the angry enraged alters and the therapeutic journey of healing.
But understanding trauma and the dissociative process is key to maintaining professional boundaries and inviting patients to establish their own personal boundaries that were likely decimated by early abuse. At the same time, therapists are only human and will be drawn towards talking to certain alters, while dreading or avoiding talking to other alters. But, as the therapist, it is our duty to examine our own conduct even more closely than that of our patients to ensure their experience of safety in therapy.
We need to examine our own conduct because this is how the world works, in or out of therapy. Some alters are humorous, knowledgeable, and socially charming, e.g., Leila, Chapter 4 of Engaging Multiple Personalities Vol. 1, while others are definitely not. For example, Leila’s alter told me later on in therapy about her clandestine behaviour in which she could turn on her charm and pick up men. This was a problem for her host who was shy, extremely prim and proper. It would be an enormous problem for anyone with DID if the therapist does not maintain proper boundaries with charming and seductive alter or avoids the critically important angry alters.
